Well I did it again...

Once again I promised to keep this current and once again I forgot.....sorry.

Anyway quick update then on to the real stuff. I'm going to be taking some time off school which to be honest has me a bit upset, but it's not a choice. Since I am moving to PA in March I will not be able to continue at Warren County and Austin's new school will be half day so this will make everything a bit impossible.

So onto the other crap.

So I was on this whole finding myself kick and somehow got lost along the way. Went right back to all the bullshit I tried to improve. Gave up on myself. I still am learning lessons about the person I am. I am way to kind and way to trusting and with the recent events that have happened in my life, I have learned a huge lesson. Do not trust people so easily because they will back stab you when you least expect it.

To become so close to someone they become like your family and you trust them with every bit of confidence and then magically one day they can crush your entire world and not have one bit of remorse, hurts. So why do people have friends and trust people? Is it me do I draw piece of shit people into my life? Do I have this sign hanging around my neck that I am unaware of that says: Hey I'm a trusting person take advantage of me?

The sad part is it happened with not one but two people who I trusted, at the same time. I feel empty inside. I feel very angry and hurt. The anger is not going away like I hoped it would, it's becoming much worse. Everyday I struggle just to wake up because I don't want to face what lies ahead of me.

I need to shake this crap and keep going, but this time I am finding it so hard.

I wish I knew how to regroup myself and move forward.